One of the biggest challenges I have is my habit of being anxious and overwhelmed. Anxiety and I go waaaaaay back! Anxiety was RIDE or DIE for me. It was attached to everything I did. There was a low -grade version that lingered around all day and there was the super turbo version that made me feel like I would detonate at any minute.
I have had this nervous energy since I was a child. I assumed it was just a part of my DNA. One day during a call with my IVISD advisor, she suggested that anxiety was a habit. Nothing more, nothing less. And she further suggested that I replace the habit of being overwhelmed and anxious with a habit that better served me. WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT, WILLIS?!!!! Have you seen my life??? I have 3 kids! I have big responsibilities! Have you seen the homework for a 7th grader? I am clearly not smarter than a 5th grader! No, it couldn’t be, this is who I am, I replied. She explained that the beginning of healing comes from becoming aware and mindful of what you do, how you do it and what is your pay off for doing it. After releasing my intense resistance, I set off on my journey of healing this part of my being.
We are all different beings, so our triggers are different. Yet we are all the same in that any habit can be replaced with another habit if we are willing to try something different.
First, you must accept the reality that what you experience in your outer world is a reflection of your inner landscape. What you think, feel, and believe about yourself will be reflected back to you by the experiences you have. That being said, I offer that you begin to journal for the next couple of weeks about the following:
1. How does uneasiness show up in your being i.e. feeling angry, isolated, confused, anxious?
2. What are the triggers that caused you to feel this way?
3. How are you judging yourself for feeling this way?
4. Where do you feel this upset in your body?
According to A Course In Miracles, “A false image of yourself has come to take the place of what you are.” You can claim the person you are meant to be by peeling back the layers to get to your true essence. This is a process. Be diligent, courageous and patient with yourself.
What habit that no longer serves you are are you willing to give up today? Let’s talk about it!