What The What??????

Steve Harvey made international headlines after he accidently declared Miss. Columbia the Miss Universe winner instead of Miss Phillippines during the 2015Miss Universe pageant. It created a firestorm on the news and on social media. OMG! At first, my heart sank for him. Yet soon thereafter, I wanted to see how this man who had overcome so many obstacles in his past, would overcome this setback or perceived “failure”. And he didn’t disappoint.

 How one internalizes setbacks or “failures” will determine if you will experience the satisfaction of reaching your greatest desire. Many of us retreat from what we want when faced with the possibility of failure. We quit to avoid being labeled a failure. This is a common reaction. Yet it is possible to use these setbacks as fuel to pull you forward.

 The first step is to remind yourself that rejection, setbacks, and disappointments are necessary ingredients in realizing your dream. We are asking ourselves to do something we have either never done before, or haven’t been able to maintain… yet! When babies learn to walk, do we yell at them for falling? No! We keep encouraging them to get back up and praise them for each attempt. We must do that for ourselves.

 Secondly, it’s time to create habits that support you in being gentle with yourself. Take note on the way you speak to yourself when you are discouraged.  It is vital to become aware of the self- chatter. Are you kind to yourself? Are you open to feedback? Are you affirming and reassuring to yourself? Are you able to find some level of humor in the moment?

 How you rebound from setbacks speaks volumes about who you are. It doesn’t have to be so hard. It takes self -awareness, commitment, ownership and the ability to laugh at yourself at times to create the change in your life that you most desire. 

Are you prepared to require that your body, mind and spirit do something unfamiliar, awkward or dare I say… scary to achieve what you most desire?

How do you handle the setbacks in your life? How do you care for yourself in those moments? Let’s talk about it.

Welcoming The New Year

As I grow older, I no longer take for granted the gift of being alive to experience another New Year. In my youth, my naive perspective lead me to believe I had countless New Years to celebrate and experience another DO OVER because I would be forever young, healthy and free to do whatever my heart lead me to do.

 This year, the New Year means something different for me. It is a much more sacred time of year. This new beginning is a precious gift simply because I am ALIVE. With this gift of breath and free will, I am determined to see things differently in 2016. I am determined to start from the beginning. I am determined to get clear, focused and passionate about all the things that make my heart sing.  That means filtering out the opinions of those who I once believed knew better than me or magazines that told me if I just get this new new, all will be well in my life. It means creating silence in my day so I can seek the guidance of my soul. And asking myself tough questions that I either never took the time to think about, was too scared to ever address, or choose to be so busy that I couldn’t hear what my soul was telling me would bring me the joy I desired.

 I invite you to go on this journey with me. To wake up! To explore your own heart, mind and body. What do you want for your life? What is the calling on your life? It is time to joyfully stand in the truth of who you are.  And who exactly IS that?

 The first step in “feeling” out what your soul is telling you is to begin each day with a spiritual practice. I recommend incorporating silence every morning. Sit in the stillness for at least five minutes before your house wakes up (and increase this time as you get more comfortable with the silence). This helps you to center yourself and quiet the chatter in your mind. You can either close your eyes or gaze outside or at a candle. I find myself using my 5 minutes of silence throughout the day… in the car pool line or when I am hiding from my kids in my closet! LOL! It’s such a precious gift to support us in hearing God’s whisper.

 For the next 12 months of this year, let’s explore a new way of feeling, a new way of thinking, and a new way of being. No longer are excuses acceptable because we all have a unique calling on our lives. YOU MATTER. What is the calling on your life? Let’s talk about it!

To Thine Own Self Be True

As the New Year comes upon us, many of us are busy renewing gym memberships, setting up new savings plans, convincing ourselves that taking out all the carbs, gluten, sugar and alcohol from our diet at the same time is actually a reasonable solution to lose those ten pesky pounds and maintain it throughout the year. Yet by the first week of February, all bets are off. As we walk to the front door to greet the mailman, who is delivering the new shoes we ordered, while savoring a delicious hot Krispy Kreme doughnut, one notices the bill from the gym we only went to twice in the last 30 days.  As we wipe the sugar from the corner of our mouths, we stop and ask what is wrong with me?? Why is my life so hard?

The good news is there is nothing wrong with you! You are not broken nor are you powerless over your life. You are just missing the most important ingredient to change. You must get to know YOU first.

The only way to change our external lives is to shift on the INSIDE. In order to change anything, we must take the time to know ourselves in the most transparent, honest way possible.  What do you really want? Do you believe you deserve what you say you want? And what are you willing to give up to have it?

I challenge you to try something different. I challenge you to begin journaling about what you most desire.  Be clear. Be concise. Explain why it is important in your life. If you have attempted to do this before, ask yourself why you have failed to keep the commitment to yourself that you deem so important. Use the journal to dig deep. Challenge yourself to sit in the discomfort of what may come up for you. Your ego will show up as resistance, it will tell you not to push any further.  What you may come to realize is the honest answers are masked under a lot of deflections, excuses, and habits that no longer serve you.  That’s the sign that you are in the exact right place!  Keep at it! This, my friend, may be the most important question we will ever get to answer.

What do you want? And are you deserving of having it? Let’s have a REAL conversation. Let’s talk about it!