Waiting On Love

Waiting on Love wrote this comment in response to blog post "Diary of a Single Sista".

This was an awesome read! But I have a question for you, what happens when you've prepared yourself for Mr. Right, but you keep meeting his cousin Mr. Alright? I am a professional woman, single for the last 2 years, my previous relationship lasted 6 years, he was a good man, but was not ready to commit so I decided to fully INVEST in myself and left the relationship. It was one of the most difficult things I did, because technically, there was nothing wrong with him, but I thought and felt there could be more.

I am physically fit, financially stable, debt-free, no children. I cook, keep an orderly home, volunteer and attend church regularly. I have invested in my spiritual and mental development, but for whatever reason, I have not met the man who makes my heart skip a beat.

I have amazing friends and family who fill me up, I travel, and I think I have a pretty fantastic life, but I want to feel that love that makes you weak in the knees!!!! What am I supposed to do now? Do I settle for less than I deserve? Do I accept that I may not find the man of my dreams who wants to love me the way I feel I deserve to be loved?

I hear and feel you! And I’m so happy to hear you are able to acknowledge the qualities that make you a great catch. We must remember the truth of who we are when we are single. No apologies! Love that.

Here is what I have to offer without knowing details about you. What are you doing to meet single men? When you are at church (or anywhere) and you see someone you like, do you smile? What do you do for fun? And when you are having this fun, are men around? Do you flirt wherever you go? Lastly, are you comfortable with the sensual side of you? If not, maybe signing up for a pole dancing or belly dancing class, after church, could support you in slowing down and remembering the feminine side of who you are. That is so important that we continue to cultivate that part of us even while we are single and free.

There is an amazing book called “Getting to I Do” by Patricia Allen. When I was single, a friend and I attended her seminar and it was so insightful particularly for career- oriented women like myself. She helped me to re-frame how I approached dating.

One example that stuck with me is that she suggested that women date OFTEN, even with men who you don’t believe could be the one. Patricia’s philosophy is that you practice dating so when Mr. Right comes along you will be more at ease in your own skin as well as more approachable. The more you practice anything, the better you will be at doing it, even dating!

Lastly, my father always said that men sense two things in women. First, they sense desperation and secondly they sense if other men are sniffing around a women they are interested in. You want the ladder. Make sure you are happily engaging with men even if it is platonic.

Remember, you are the prize. You get to choose! Make sure you are feeling confident, sexy and open for love so when Mr. Right shows up you will be able to recognize him and enjoy the ride!