Children

Until I had children, I was the best mother ever!

I would be the mother who remembered what it was like to be a kid. My children would ask me about whatever may be on their minds. Nothing would be off limits because I would have the grace and wit of Claire Huxutable, seeing that I had watched every episode at least a dozen times, why wouldn’t I have the spot on answer?

When they were hurting, I would comfort them with the exact words they needed to hear in that moment and never take their moods and mistakes personally.

How hard could it be to communicate with a teenager?

And of course, I would master 5th grade math! Hello?! I AM college educated! 

I really was the best mother when I had no children.

Yes, I was the child-less mother who, under my breath, scolded the women whose kids were out of control at the grocery store. My child would NEVER fall out in a tantrum with me….until they actually did and I had to scrape them off the ground in utter shock and horror. But why let facts get in the way of the story?

Let me apologize to all those women I judged so harshly at the grocery store. And confess that there are days when it has taken all of me not to run down the street screaming like a mad woman and hitch a ride with anyone who will take me away. There are days when I really don’t think I know what I am doing. And, truth be told, there are days when I truly don’t know what I am doing.

But here is what I know. I know parenting is like navigating a sailing trip around the world without a map. At times it’s unbelievably scary, yet what a journey filled with memories of a lifetime. I believe these little people are mirrors of ourselves. They expose the part of us we mask or hide. Their job is to trigger us to our bone marrow so we can heal the wounded children within us that we judge as bad or wrong. They are our ever- present reminders to slow down and be kind …to ourselves. To remember that our purpose here on this earth is to serve something greater than ourselves.

See, the best mothering I can do for my children is to gently mother myself. And when all else fails, hide in the closet and take deep breaths. And when you come to your senses, stand up and admit that you too are not smarter than a 5th grader!

What are your children showing you about what needs to be healed in your heart?