A Daughter’s Lesson in Forgiveness
In Part 1, I shared the initial stages of my Lesson in Forgiveness with my dad as the subject of my journey, but clearly myself as the object (click here to read Part 1).
Dad succumbed to lung disease on January 8, 2016 and while I was at peace at the time of his passing, the “work” was just beginning for me. I was challenged and even somewhat resistant as to how I could continue to sow into this beautiful, intimate, peaceful and loving energy field that I had created. Content with how things were and fearful of bringing up emotions stemmed from loss, I told myself, “I’m good!” But I wasn’t good, I was scared. I didn’t want to mourn. I didn’t want to FEEL any more than I had already felt for the past two months moving through the experience of his illness.
So after becoming aware, accepting and acknowledging that my work was not done and there was still an opportunity for me to go deeper in my Lesson, I asked Spirit for intuitive guidance. Where was I still holding judgements, thoughts and beliefs about dad? About me? About God? What did I need to release? What did I need to forgive myself for? The answer didn’t come immediate for me, but I was clear that I wanted to create something that would support me in holding the space for the principle of Forgiveness to continue to operate in my life; as well as honor my dad posthumously. Bam! Spirit spoke loud and clear once I got clear… Forgiveness Cards!
I would set out to make a set of laminated cards and bind on a ring so I could take wherever I go. One side would have a picture of dad and I with the word Forgiveness rounded over our heads and the other side… well here’s where the work came in; the opportunity to see things differently; to choose peace; to honor dad; to honor self.
A few months before dad was hospitalized, he started emailing me a bible verse every single day. I actually resented it. I told myself that he was judging me because I am a lesbian and this was his attempt to shame me. Yeah...the things I/we tell myself/ourselves…
But that was then and now I tell myself a different story. The new story is the one Forgiveness taught me. The new story is filled with love, peace, joy and acceptance. The new story is that my dad loved me SOOO much, he took the time every single day that he was physically able to send me a good Word! The new story is that my dad cared about me SOOO much that he wanted to share what he believed would bring me happiness and fulfillment. The new story is that I forgive myself for judging my dad as judgmental. The truth is my dad loved me the best and only way he knew how and for that, I am so very grateful.
So take one guess what’s on the back of each card….