himaholic - (verb, action verb) 1. the act of being addicted to him

I used to be so baffled when people would say that they love hard.
Like huh? You love hard? What does that even mean?

Until I loved hard.

I loved a man more than myself because he was my addiction, my high. I dedicated myself into changing him so he would open his eyes to see how dedicated, addicted and hypnotized I was by him. My love was the greatest of all time no one would make him feel like I did. He had become my sustenance. His attention was the drug to my veins. I literally spent my time thinking of how to get another hit of HIM. It was disastrous. It was dysfunctional. I needed his energy to function. BARF. The memory of how I felt makes my stomach turn.

Loving hard means you are addicted to ones energy in my opinion.

That man in that situation drained me of my energy and filled me up with his …. I was under his spell so to speak. Unfortunately his energy wasn’t good.

Drained and confused

I really don’t know how I even rehabilitated myself of him.

When I think about it the strongest force of energy another being can give you from a transmission aspect is through sex. All of this energy is boiling inside of a person when that act occurs . Passion lust love climax sadness joy …. a high. I am far more tame than in my earlier years which for me explains my fucked up energy in my 20's. I am much more mindful of that transference of energy now. The laws of attraction are real make sure you are attracting the kind of energy you want.

Candace Middleton

Candace is a single mother, working hard to make a difference in the lives of her most precious gifts, her children.  Her father passed away from cancer, and that has been one of her most difficult challenges to overcome.  She is striving every day to be a better mother, sister, daughter, and friend.